david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
