You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
