i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
