He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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