Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
