My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize