She's JV to your varsity
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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