Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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