i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
vagina is talking i cant
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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