it was like his penis was on wheels.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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