do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
