Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
