i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
