I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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