I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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