Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
