seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
