Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
