we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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