Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
