Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize