I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
