was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
