I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize