I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
