you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
