So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
