I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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