i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
