Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
