i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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