Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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