You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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