There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
