Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
