I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
