You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
