my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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