i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
