That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
