I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize