My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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