Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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