did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
