in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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