Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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