Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This girl is more easily done than said...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
