If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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