Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
