it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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