Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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