Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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