The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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