you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
