coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
