actually, I'm a sock model
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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