Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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