we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
