my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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