This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
