bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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