How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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