The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
