babies were throwing up all over the place
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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