plz talk dirty to me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
