Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize