I love black thongs
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize