check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
