i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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