How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
